Well the swing set is rusted,
The picture frame's cracked,
The photos have all faded to gray.
The faces you trusted,
Just never came back,
Yes childhood has eroded away.
And the songs that your mother sang,
As she rocked you to sleep,
You howl out of tune when you're drunk.
Wear good shoes on these streets,
Or you'll soon cut your feet,
On a piece of the broken cup.

After so many Johns and Janes,
Have stained your sheets,
Is it habit or thirst brings them back?
After so many pipers,
Have played on these streets,
Who is missed more, the children or the rats?
Yes we've traded our toy choo-choo trains,
And rosary beads,
For a bottle of gin and a fuck.
Now we sit 'round the bar,
Proud of how bored we are,
As we drink from our broken cup.

We sing, "everything, everything, everything,
Is now permitted.
All the oaths we've taken,
Have been graciously forgotten,
And every sin, every sin,
Is now forgiven."
And every sip somehow tastes rotten.

So let's drink to the men,
Who forgot what they lost.
They've got the best shoes that money can buy.
And a toast to our impotence,
Our cowardice, our sloth,
Nothing matters, why bother to try?
And three cheers for Mary,
Our virgin, our whore.
If she favors you, it's just dumb luck.
Now I'll lift up my glass,
To a life on our ass.
Brothers, lift your cup high,
While your waiting to die,
May we all find a trace,
A faint echo of grace,
Through the crack in our broken cup.

I've been working my lil tail off latley ... so I haven't been posting much.
Well.  I'm doing well in both jobs.
Twenty hours a week at the grocery store and fourty plus at the hospital.
Alot of the residents have been passing away this week, which is sad, but you have to expect things like that to go down in this line of work.  It sucks to get to know someone and make them laugh, only to find out that they passed away the night that you had off from work.  But it's something I'll have to get used to, and work extra hard to make the time that I spend caring for them as comfortable as I can.  

I've come to a conclusion that I've come to many times before.  Guys are clueless, and not to mention they also suck.
There is one guy inparticular that I've found attractive on many diffrent levels.  But all he wants is a physical relationship and it seems to me that I am just the filler girl till he finds someone he is interested in enough to want to date them.  
We get together from time to time to watch movies at his place, or do the physical thing, but it's rarely ever more than that.  I've spent the night with him a number of diffrent times, and we fall asleep talking about a bunch of diffrent things, most of which that he is really confused about why this girl dosn't like him the way that he likes her, and how girls never want to commit to anything and that they are really missing out on a great guy.  He's never hinted that he is interested in me that way, and I'm unsure about talking to him and telling him that I could be interested in him more than just physically ... but I think that if I do I'll lose even that because it'll come off as too clingy, when all he wants from me is a NSA arangement.
Le sigh.

I'm exited over how much money that I'm saving up, I have a little over a grand put away and that is only after working about a month or so.  So I figure wait it out a few more months, and start looking for a nifty lil income based appartment near the hospital.  Then around August, I can apply for the college scholarship the hospital provides for employees, and quit the grocery job ... with enough savings to cushion any financial speedbump I may hit along the way.

I feel so grownup.  I catch myself feeling much like my mother when I'm going to work or reading a book that we both like during my breaks at work.  I have to admire her for going through all this while taking care of me and my brother when she was so young.  She's such a strong woman and I want to impress her.  Show her what I have finally acomplished, and what I'm on my way to becoming. 

I can't sleep.
This post be the result of absolute boredom/sleep deprivation